Strangely enough, the stretching or opening of a thin tissue called hymen decides whether someone is Virgin or not. Even this logic fail miserably on the male species due to lack of such tissue — which either means male are virgins throughout their lifetime or society does not care for such norms when it comes to this gender.
Anyways, that’s not my point of argument. In colloquial terms, ‘virgin’ is used for something which is green, non initiated, never done earlier — such as virgin land etc. It always mark a new beginning whether in traditional aspect — beginning of married life for woman or starting a new business in an area never exploited earlier.
If we agree to this definition of Virginity, which in my simplistic world, fits in sexual context also, then let me tell you a story.
It is a story of a boy who grew up in a small town in India. For him, the world is very simple and small — full of family and friends. As he grew older, he met the real world characters who were very different from his imaginative world. These were opportunists and self centric folks who used this boy per their convenience. If they need him, they will talk and treat Abrahim nicely otherwise, he would be treated as an unwanted stranger on the street.
The feeling of being used over and over by so called “friends” left him bleeding from the blood which became so dry and invisible that only he could see. He constantly felt as if he was being gang raped by folks whom he believed were there to protect him. Since he was a boy, nobody saw the blood on the sheet or felt the sound of opening of the tissue, however, his pain and the collapse of his imaginative beautiful world was very much there.
In some cultures, the loss of tissue due to sexual intercourse is celebrated and also looked down upon — however, not sure how should we react to Abrahim who went through similar intercourse — mental though which has some physical ramifications also?
Society generally act as a moral police if someone is playing around with sexual connotation of Virginity, what are the rules governing emotional or mental lose of virginity?
Abrahim is not the same, he went through a lot — lot of pain, lot of betrayal. He lost his innocence, he was used and he was emotionally raped. He was used because he was in love, he was used because he believed someone as friend — the friend who took one night stand and destroyed his Innocence.
I think we create a lot of fuss on a tissue — it’s not about tissue — it’s the process, it’s the pain or enjoyment which needs to be looked at.
We are very judgmental about sexual maturity, however, when it comes to emotional side we all are equally vulnerable and might have felt exploited. We view emotional maturity as a milestone of growing up, whereas, on attaining sexual maturity outside societal norms we become overdramatic and start attributing things.
Losing a Virginity is important as it marks new beginning — beginning of new life — beginning of life where one enters the real world — the beginning of the life where we are responsible for creating new lives.
The emotions which Abrahim went through are same and now he is more matured, he has entered new life — he is no more innocent — he understand the tricks of the game. He is now same as others.
